citius, altius, fortius!

ako si corbin!

isang nilalang mula sa isang all-girls school. at ngayo'y pumapasok na sa unibersidad ng pilipinas bilang isang CHK freshie. mahilig magbasa ng mga libro lalong-lalo na ang mga sinulat nina michael connelly, james patterson, lualhati bautista at nicholas sparks. nangungulila sa paglalaro ng softball. mahal na mahal ang pag-aaral ng arnis. mahilig tumunganga, mag-isip, magmuni-muni. at mahilig sa mga outdoor activities at mga hayop lalo na ang aking bebe.

taggity tag!



desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
:)
[max ehrmann]


Sunday, March 06, 2005

Oh God. Here I go again. Im longing for an older ‘sister’ again. I don’t know when it started…it just came and it hit me hard. It hit me hard for the fact that having one will be impossible. And Im not talking about a biological sister.Of course I wont be able to have one…since Im the eldest.

I can’t help but to envy those who have someone to talk to who’s older than them. May it be a biological sister, older cousin or an older friend by a few years. They have someone they can talk with…comfort them during their shallow and deep moments of their lives…lean on their shoulders when you feel down and lonely…joke with them…have fun…someone who is really willing to be an older sister for you. Unfortunately, that is what I don’t have. That is what I lack and that is what I will never have. For the fact that Im not a person who’s always socializing with others…I always distant myself from others… But no one can understand why I want to be alone. I don’t even know why I damn want to be alone!!!

Maybe I wanted attention… So weird. But Im uncomfortable being in the center of attention. I hate being in the spotlight. I try to at least not be in the center of attention. I hate attention. I want to hide among the shadows. But light often finds me… It’s so hard to explain. So hard to even understand. Attention…Maybe…the simple concerned attention one gives for another. Specifically, some sort of sister-attention. That’s all I yearn. Only a few people can understand me. Not even my parents are one of those persons. A very few number of people. So pathetic, I know. And some of those few persons are not even considered to be a close friend, by me. So pathetic and yet so sad.

Why is everything so damn complicated?! Why can’t life be easier for me?! Yeah, I know. I only have a few problems…Not even all of them are considered deep. But… those problems…those problems I have is not about others…its mainly about me. I pity myself for being someone I can never be. I pity myself because its so hard. I know I cant experience having an older…friend. I don’t mean you guys… Hope you can understand. I appreciate your friendship. But I need some sort of physical friend. Who can really be there for you physically.

And that is so hard to have…it is even impossible.

Please lang. I just feel so depressed, forlorn, frustrated. If you have nothing good to say...just cut it. Im not in the mood.

posted by kcorbin at 2:14 PM

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